you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
