he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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