3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
tell me about the fingering
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