He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
