Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
