he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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