I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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