your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dual....:-)
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
