BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize