He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
