Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
