ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize