so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
