i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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