True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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