i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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