can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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