Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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