How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
