I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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