girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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