He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize