you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
