Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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