David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
farters have to be the big spoon...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
