let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
