cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
