I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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