Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
