Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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