she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
