I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
