yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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