so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
