i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
