Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
