As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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