whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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