You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
