Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
