He had one of those small greek statue penises
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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