oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
