Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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