Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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(925): View more from California

I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible

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(760): View more from California

coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring

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(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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(352): View more from Florida

How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?

(1-352): View more from Florida

1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.

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