You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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