Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.