i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
