i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?