UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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