sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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