so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
