btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
only if we run a train.
done.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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