I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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