You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
