Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
