Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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