You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
