It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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