then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
