the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
