I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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