It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
where does the pee come out of this thing
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
