I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
