I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
