Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
