3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
