You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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