How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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