I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
