I just pynch a tree in the face
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize