Non-Jews are for practice
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
